Creep
by Lunatasha
Summary: UlquiHime one-shot based off the song 'Creep' by Radiohead. Ulquiorra's interaction with Orihime ends up making him question himself, where he belongs, the concept of emotions and the heart.


**Long time no see huh? ^^; I'm so sorry guys but things have just kept coming up in the past couple months. And unfortunately school and health will always have to come first. I will be continuing my other stories when I have time, but that could be for a little while yet. Exams are bad as it but when you're chronically ill and you miss about 40-50% of the lessons you end up having to do a lot of 'revision'. Especially because I need good grades to get into the sixth form/college that I want to get into.**

**But anyway, enough about my problems. I have found that when I'm recovering from illness and I need to get back into the knack of writing for coursework and other school work that writing fanfiction helps. Plus I need to practise writing concisely for my Communication and Culture exam. (I did the mock and ended up running out of time. I couldn't answer three of the questions, and they're all essay questions T_T) So my mother suggested trying to write small chapters of fanfiction to practise. Which is actually a fantastic idea. So this is my first one-shot in a long time, and I have a plan to do a 100 one-shot challenge thing for HitsuKarin. Like I said, I plan to update my other stories later on in the year, but for now you get one-shots! I hope you like them. :)**

**I guess this is a songfic? I'm not 100% sure I've never written one before XD But this is a short UlquiHime one-shot based off the song 'Creep' by Radiohead. (Inspired by my Communication and Culture class, strangely enough.) The words in bold and italics are lyrics.**

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><p>Creep<p>

_**When you were here before  
>Couldn't look you in the eye<br>You're just like an angel  
>Your skin makes me cry<br>You float like a feather  
>In a beautiful world<br>I wish I was special  
>You're so fucking special<strong>_

Ulquiorra couldn't help but stare at Orihime. She was just so _different_. She thought the sole reason he was there was to make sure she ate her entire meal. Ulquiorra could almost smile at the thought. It intrigued him that when humans were scared or shocked, they had a tendency to believe whatever you tell them, although that being said, Ulquiorra had never given her a reason to think he would lie. But that doesn't mean he _couldn't_ lie to her. For example, he told her that he was in her room to make sure she ate her whole dinner. That wasn't the reason. He just wanted to watch her.

Just days ago he would've condemned anyone who would be interested in watching women, deeming their actions perverse and yet he was doing that exact same thing right now. He couldn't help it though. She was just so beautiful. With her white clothes, bright hair and silvery grey eyes, she almost looked like an angel. She certainly acted like it. She seemed so delicate and fragile, to the point where all Ulquiorra wanted to do was to lock her up and guard her, to make sure she doesn't break.

Except that's where Orihime differed from angels. She wouldn't break. Orihime was surprisingly strong for a human. She absolutely refused to break, despite what happened to her. But that just made her even more endearing. She was perfect. His secret little ray of sunshine, of hope. Strange how almost every arrancar has said that emotions made you weaker and they were useless and yet emotions were the very things that every single one of them wanted. The ability to experience true happiness. To be able to love. To actually fill the void that every single one of them knew wouldn't be filled with food. Hollow holes do not signify power. They signify weakness. Pitiful animalistic creatures that went on in life trying to get their heart back, trying to fill that _huge_ hole with food, not quite understanding what was causing it. Only to evolve and have others tell you that trying to fill the void was a ridiculous thing to do.

She was so special. She had a heart, and a wonderful one at that. She reached out to people, even those who didn't deserve it. Ulquiorra wished he had a heart. Ulquiorra wished he was special like her. He wanted to spend all of his time with her, to share his heart with her. Be he couldn't.

**_But I'm a creep  
>I'm a weirdo<br>What the hell am I doing here?  
>I don't belong here<em> **

He didn't belong with her. Hell, he didn't belong anywhere near her. He didn't _deserve_ to be anywhere near her. But she _let_ him get close. That was the strangest part. He had learned to read her facial expressions and body language quickly and he knew full well that when any arrancar other than himself approached her she tensed up. She didn't like others going near her but she stayed normal when _he_ got near her. Ulquiorra wondered why. Why was he different? Why didn't she recoil when he got close to her? Why on earth did she view him as different to the others? Did she know something that he didn't?

_**I don't care if it hurts  
>I want to have control<br>I want a perfect body  
>I want a perfect soul<br>I want you to notice when I'm not around  
>You're so fucking special<br>I wish I was special**_

Maybe she knew that he wanted to be like her. It's ironic really. Ulquiorra had spent his whole life thinking humans were pathetic, useless creatures, but now he wanted to become one. It seemed so much nicer. You would still get the sadness, grief and other somewhat undesirable emotions, but you would get happiness, joy and maybe even love with them too. The concept of love was actually far too interesting in Ulquiorra's opinion. He fought with people because he was in endangered or because he was told to. Humans will fight if they're in danger, if they're scared, if they want to protect or if they want to save someone. It's not always physical fighting. In his few trips to the human world Ulquiorra had seen fighting in several forms, fighting against death and disease, fighting against depression even fighting against time itself. Humans fight in order to help the ones they love. Humans don't want to see their friends and family die at the hands of bacteria and viruses, or at the hands of their own minds or even die because of natural causes. They're always fighting. It was their emotions which made them strong. It didn't make them weak. Ulquiorra longed to get rid of his hollow hole. He longed to feel emotions other than despair and sadness. He longed to be like her.

_**But I'm a creep  
>I'm a weirdo<br>What the hell I'm doing here?  
>I don't belong here<strong>_

Ulquiorra didn't know what to do any more. Before he would just mindlessly follow orders but it seemed pointless. Life seemed pointless. Orihime had dreams and she more or less knew what she wanted to do with her life. Sure that might change a couple times along the way, but she certainly wanted to do what makes her happy. It made sense. What made him happy? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure what happiness was. But he wanted to find out. Other arrancars managed to find pleasure in fighting, killing and other sordid activities. To Ulquiorra such activities were tiring. They were actions he would not do out of choice but out of necessity. Did that make him different to all of the other arrancars? Did other arrancar have these kind of thoughts? The only one he could think of possibly having similar thoughts was Harribel, and possibly Stark. Did that mean that he didn't belong here in Las Noches any more? Where did he belong?

_**She's running out the door  
>She's running out<br>She runs runs runs  
>Whatever makes you happy<br>Whatever you want  
>You're so fucking special<br>I wish I was special**_

Ulquiorra knew that if her friends succeed, she would run from this place without giving it a second thought. She wouldn't even look back. Not that he blamed her. This place was awful, _horrifying_ to someone like her. He almost wanted her to escape. It would be better for her. But then what would he do? He didn't want to see her leave. He wanted to keep her. But that was incredibly selfish on his part and she wouldn't be happy. She would end up resenting him. So he would let her go. Let her be happy. Sacrifice his own happiness for her.

_**But I'm a creep  
>I'm a weirdo<br>What the hell am I doing here?  
>I don't belong here<br>I don't belong here**_

_Wait._ If being around Orihime made him _happy_, then did that mean that wasn't an arrancar any more? The first time in his life Ulquiorra was incredibly confused. He hated it, it was frightening, but in a strange way it was a good kind of frightening. Did that mean he could get away from this hell hole? Get away from Aizen, the arrancar, the hollows? Was he changing? Did he not belong here any more? Where did he belong? He wasn't human so surely he didn't belong in the human world. He didn't belong in hell, at least he hoped he didn't belong in hell. But now he felt like he didn't belong here either. He wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know what this woman was _doing_ to him. For centuries he was the same and now one human woman came along and changed everything in a small space of time. It wasn't _fair._ He wanted to belong with her. He wanted to understand the heart. He wanted to understand _her_ heart.

Ulquiorra focused his vision upon Orihime again as he heard the small clatter of her cutlery being placed on her plate. So she had finished eaten. Pity. He liked being in here. He felt better when he was in the same room as her. A small part wanted to make him believe that the feeling was mutual. She seemed more at ease when he was there rather than someone else. But that was ridiculous. Without realising Ulquiorra had stopped scowling and started frowning at the thought. It was for a split second before he adjusted his facial expression but it didn't go unseen. Orihime, seeing the sad expression on his face offered him a small smile. Ulquiorra felt a small twinge in his stomach. Not a bad twinge, but still a twinge. What the _actual hell_ was she _doing_ to him?

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><p><strong>I apologise if there are any errors in this, like I said above, writing fanfiction helps me regain my ability while recovering from illness, and my illness can stop me from reading and writing properly. So please tell me if there are errors so I can fix them ^^ I hope you enjoyed it and please review. I could really do with constructive criticism when it comes to the one-shots I will be uploading in the next month or two so I can write concisely better. Thanks for reading ^^<strong>


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